Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon took over for Conan. Oh Jimmy. 

He needs to take a xanax. I haven't seen anyone more out of their element since the early days of the Rachel Ray talk show. 

It's fine. People like you. I don't, but other people do, so take a xanax, drink a shot and go out there and be yourself! 

I'm also beginning to see how Josh from 30 Rock is based on Fallon.

It's cool though, I like anything that gives me a new appreciation for the shows I already do like. 

Jimmy Fallon is going to be fine, but he needs a few weeks to get used to interviwing people. And I'm sorry, but whose idea was it to give him Robert De'Niro as one of his first interviews. You couldn't have thrown him a frivolous nobody to get him on his feet? It's not like we don't have enough of them in Hollywood. I know he's a natural performer, he just needs to find his rhythm. I'll probably never like it, but I'm one of those people those hard-to-please people. 

Good-bye Conan, it's been nice, hope you find your PARADISE

I've been watching Conan since high school. I'm going to miss Late Night. 

Yes, Conan will still be there, and he'll still be quick-witted, but as I sit awaiting the final appearance of the masturbating bear, I feel a tad melancholy. 

The last few episodes have been wonderful. He's making the most of his last few episodes, taking a sledge hammer to his set and destorying his set, little by little. 

But Conan, I am glad you're changing your time slot, because I might be moving to Houston next year... and we all know about your issues with Houston.

The Big Bang Theory

Today I watched about five minutes of "The Big Bang Theory". 

The jokes are kind of funny, but the actors are no good and the outrageous laugh track completely ruins it. 

The Office, 30 Rock, and Top Chef-- Week In Review

Ok, I realize that if any tv blog is going to be worth reading, it has to be current, so I'll try my best to catch us up to speed in this entry. 

The Office 

First of all, The Office was a bit of a disappointment. Two episodes ago, Dwight lit the office on fire and the employees of Dunder Mifflin roasted Michael. Michael took a "personnel" day then returned with jabs for his co-workers. "Pam, you failed out of Art School. Boom, roasted." My personal favorite "Creed, your teeth called, your breath stinks" (which is an allusion to the Problem Resolution episode) and the one that got everyone laughing, "Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks." 

After the first three seasons, Karen was out of the picture and Jim and Pam were together. Most shows would have jumped the shark (some might argue that The Office did.) To remedy the problem, the writers chose to move the show in a different direction. On the first episode of season four, Michael hit Meredith with his car, thus hurling the series into the surreal. 

The problem with The Office is that, during the first three seasons, the show was realistic. It wasn't as painfully real as the British version, but it's aesthetic was, for the most part, realistic. But sometimes the characters and actors seem like they were cast from two different realities. Jenna Fischer sits at one end of the spectrum, playing Pam as faithfully and as genuinely as though she were on a real life documentary. Rainn Wilson, on the other hand, plays Dwight like a version of Steve Erwin meets Darth Vader on crack.

Now The Office is struggling to stay fresh by moving from the real to the surreal and I think it's been relatively successful. They learned from Friends and have stayed away from character based melodrama. This has left the show straddling an aesthetic rift. Is 

The hour long episode was great. It embraced the surreal aesthetic. They showcased minor characters. I thought they had finally worked all the kinks out. Then Michael hit the lecture circuit. Why would anyone want Michael to talk to their office about anything? It never quite explained that. And they were back to awkward silences and Michael making an ass of himself. Personally, I didn't think the American version should have even bothered putting Michael on the lecture circuit because it would invariably draw comparisons to the British version, which was better. Remember David Brent posing? 

Overall though, The Office has kept me interested. It's still funny. I also find it interesting to see how the writers adapt to the growing pains of a show that has been on for five years. They've avoiding falling into a lot of traps and seem intent on experimenting with the genre.

30 Rock 

For it's first two seasons I thought 30 Rock was a marvel. The humor was base, but clever and the social commentary was present, but never preachy. 

The third season has been good. 

Unfortunately, it looks as though NBC is pushing hard for ratings, backing the writers into a corner-- a dirty, crack head corner of guest stars and cameos. 

Hey NBC, um, Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin are.... HUGE STARS. They are more famous than John Hamm and Salma Hayek. The reasons 30 Rock hasn't been getting great ratings is probably a combination of the following: 1. The show is ironic; people don't get irony. 2. The show is surreal; people don't get surrealism. 3. Your piss poor promotion during the first two seasons. 

30 Rock was, and is still, a gem. There are two kinds of shows out there. Cash cows and critic's darlings. Stop trying to make 30 Rock into a cash cow. Let the writers do what they do best. The last two episodes were funny, but 30 Rock has a solid and hilarious ensemble of minor characters that get the shaft when Jennifer Aniston and the entire cast of Night Court have to appear in the same episode. 

Let 30 Rock be that critic's darling. They'll win you Emmys and give the brand "NBC" a little bit of dignity. God forbid you tarnish your network with high quality programing. 

Maybe I'm stupid, but I think that it's worth the trade-off. Maybe you're not making as much money with 30 Rock as you would with say.... strippers competing against one another in a bull testicle eating competition.... but 30 Rock is refined comedy. It's good. Leave it be. 

Top Chef

And finally-- Top Chef. 

Fabio was a true professional. He broke his finger and brought medics to patch it up. They asked him if he wanted to go to the hospital and he responded like it was the most ridiculous, retarded suggestion anyone could've made. 

And it made winning all the more sweet. 

I don't have a good prediction over who is going to win this season. Last season Stephanie was a lock. She smoked her competitors over and over again and Tom obviously loved her. Padma can say whatever she wants, but the only reason she's there is because she's more literate than Katie Joel. Tom chooses the winner. He stares his panel down with his chill blue eyes until they crumble in fear. The guy is intimidating. 

Carla, Fabio and Stefan all seem to be equally skilled. Carla called herself the dark horse in the last episode, but I think her competitors underestimate her because she's a woman and because she's super, ridiculously calm. But she knows what she's doing. She pays attention to detail and that is usually what makes or breaks you at the end. 

I think Hosea is the dark horse, but he might surprise everyone. 

One thing I love and respect about Top Chef is that, no fucktards make it to the end, so it's always a good finale. 

But before I wrap up this entry I have to gripe. 

You lame ass judges kicked Jamie off for a technical error when Leah conceptually missed the mark? That is not how you've judged in the past. She understood how to make the dish, and I can't help but sympathize with someone who only had 15 minutes to recreate a Ripert dish. It could have happened to any chef and I don't think it was represenative of her skills. Leah's pallet failed her and she didn't execute the dish correctly. You should've given Jamie a break. 

Ok... I'm done with this week in tv. I'll try to keep this up a little better. 

Closing Time

I decided to move out, for real this time. I found a great apartment and I couldn't be more excited. If I could move tomorrow, I would.

Actually, I might. Why the fuck not?

:-)

Top Chef and The Next Food Network Star

Sorry about my general lack of attention to this blog. I've become so absurdly lazy that I can't open my laptop while watching television and jot down my rants. No, I'm just going to lay there and probably fall asleep. This is the last time I'm going to get to be a student on a student schedule-- I intend to enjoy it.

Anyway, this last season of Top Chef was addictive like crack. I've never done crack, but I've seen crack addicts on Cops enough to know that they get really mad when they don't get their crack which is almost as mad as I get when I don't get my Top Chef.

I absolutely love Top Chef. I think the Chefs are genuine, sincere, talented artists. I also think that cuisine is a pure art in the way that film or literature can never be. I mean, if Jonathan Safran Foer cooked the way he writes (imagine incredibly saccharine, substance less, slimy garbage) he'd be called out and humiliated among his peers. As it is, he's "experimental" and "visionary." I miss the good ole' days of literature-- the good ole' days of old, angry, modernists and Norman Fruman.

Sorry, that's the most esoteric rant I'll ever go on.

So, of course Stephanie won the contest and fan favorite. The ending was as obvious as an M. Night Shamalan movie. I didn't know what I was going to do once it ended because I was clinging to it like my only friend in the scary world of television. Today I turned on the tv and there was "The Next Food Network Star" beaming to me straight from God's heart.

This show is not Top Chef. I honestly think that I could compete on this show. One girl got grossed out while handling a fish. Seriously? That's like a doctor screaming "ew, ew, ew" while giving you a shot (Dr. Spaceman, 30 Rock). (Yeah, MLA format bitches.) Then she didn't know how to fillet a fish. This is absurd. I have read in a cookbook how to fillet a fish, and although I've never done it, I can tell you that what she did was wrong. I can't imagine someone on Top Chef not knowing how to fillet a fish. Tom Colicchio would burn them to death with his laser eyes within the first episode.

The Next Food Network Star might undermine the way people view The Food Network... but I'll watch it because I'm a recovering Top Chef addict.

America's Psychic Challenge

I had the opportunity—no, the pleasure—of catching this reality show yesterday afternoon. My friends and I were flipping through the channels and could literally find absolutely nothing worth watching, so we watched this psychic show.

The premise is obvious—fake psychics compete over who is the best fake psychic. The episode I watched was apparently one in a long running competition.

The host is the worst. He's almost as bad as the host of "Cheaters," whose name I can't remember, but I do remember that he got stabbed, and the classy people behind "Cheaters" chose to air it anyway, and also to sell it to Vh1 so that they could air it on a loop.

The psychics were put through four challenges. They were asked to sense fear, to diagnose illness, determine what traumatic event occurred at a renovated motel, and something else I can't remember. That's journalistic integrity for you.

My favorite part about this show was watching the psychics make up excuses for their foibles. One girl said "they always know, they sometimes just don't tell me."

Now, the thing I didn't quite understand was that, the psychics got scored and ranked based on their performances in each challenge, because apparently psychics can be "kind of right."

One "psychic" sang the Twilight Zone theme song and called herself the "White Serpent." I got the feeling that she just walked into the competition off the street to prove that anyone could be a psychic, and she was totally the best at it.

In the end it was entertaining to make fun of with friends, but definitely nothing worth watching alone, unless there is nothing else on and you don't own any dvd's and don't have dvr and refuse to watch repeats of sitcoms.